Is It Safe?

Eating dinner at my wife's favorite vegetarian restaurant tonight and after she orders her tofu, she turns and asks, "Is that okay for the baby?"

I may be clueless, but I have technology on my side. Quicker than the kitchen can turn out her grilled tofu cooked in orange ginger sauce served over brown rice, with steamed chard, arame, and homemade pickled cabbage, I successfully search and answer her question; yes, you can eat that.

In the middle of our meal, she orders a hibiscus tea. Again, out comes the phone. Yes honey, you can have that. I quickly determine that what we need is more information. I can't, won't, be the kind of father/husband that pre-screens every morsel and drop that goes into her stomach.

After dinner we stop at the local book emporium and purchase the pregnancy bible, What To Expect When You're Expecting. By the time the Broncos finish slouching their way through tonight's preseason game, we both have read the section on food. We are now armed with knowledge.

And waddya know, there's a website too:

What To Expect When You're Expecting

Is there an app for that?

Bye Bye Bacon...

Last night my wife told me she can't eat processed meats while she's pregnant. No hot dogs, roast beef, pastrami, salami, and worst of all, no bacon. I was a little sad for her. A second later, I was little sad for me because that means I get fewer bacon opportunities. A few seconds later, I was a little sad for progress. If you are over the age of say, 30, you can imagine what your mother might have been ingesting while you were in the womb. Most of us turned out okay anyway.

I'm all for being careful about diet and whatnot but some folks go too far. For example, this list just gets silly:

You Should Avoid Drinking Tap Water if Possible - People afraid of tap water really annoy me. These are the same folks who made Dan Brown a rich man.

You Should Avoid Stress - Okay, I'll just sit here in my sensory deprivation comfort bubble for nine months.

You Should Avoid Herpes - Always good advice, but W.T.F.

What are you gonna do?