kiss of the spider...

In a few days we're going to find out if The Impending Heir of All That Is Great in The World (Especially Me) will be a boy or a girl, but because we are of a certain age, (over 40, but not by much) there's a boatload of stuff we have to think about that we would rather not. Down syndrome is especially a concern. Well, going into the amniocentesis test, all indications are that we don't have much to be worried about, but Ms. Scribe needs 100% assurance...so, we let the doctor stick that giant needle in her.

I won't pretend that I was the rock she leaned upon in her time of distress. I did what any good husband should do, I stroked her hair, whispered encouragements, and did my best to keep her eyes gazing at me instead of watching the needle dig into her womb.

In that moment, I could see my wife digging deep and finding a reserve of fortitude she did not know she had. She looked at me as if I were the cause of her discovery, yet, watching her find her strength only made me feel stronger for her and the baby.

The spider's web, and the silk it's made with, is one of the strongest and most flexible things known to man. One reason for its strength is the network of interlocking connections within the web and the silk itself. This moment in the doctor's office, for whatever reason, drew this small factoid to the forefront of my mind. I thought of the connections between the three of us; wifey, baby, and me. It occured to me that our love, once just the simple cocoon two people withdrew to, has spun itself into a delicate spider web. Each tendril drawing strength from the other.

Once Upon a Time...

With news of The Impending Heir of All That Is Great in The World (Especially Me), Wifey Sweetbritches and I have been talking more than usual about our mutual family myths and legends. They can hold a family together, they can tear them asunder, but I believe the stories a family tells itself, and the stories a family tells the world, is at the core of what makes a family. It's the act of passing stories across generations that knits families together.

StoryCorps is an organization that helps preserve and pass along these stories. I recorded an interview with my brother back in 2006, so when I saw that one of their mobile recording booths is in Colorado I knew it was time to swap stories with Wifey for posterity. We did the standard 40 minute back and forth and made our charitable donation. I highly recommend the experience.

In the last five minutes, the session monitor asked us how we met, so, if you're interested, here's our Meet Cute story. Please do enjoy.

Like my own personal trapeeze act...

The mood swings around here haven't been as bad as what some of these guys experienced, but let's just say things have been interesting.

"That's right, I take care of my children!"

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, there is no substitute for enthusiasm. This guy has a lot.

Say Hello to My Little Friends...

Meet the Pretty Girl and the Old Man:

These are our dogs. I love them dearly, but if they did anything like the dog in this story, I might not be as forgiving:

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Do I have reason to be concerned? I don't think so. They're both generally well behaved. They're not always great with other dogs but that's because they're both guard dog varieties. The dog in that story is basically a tamed wolf. Nevertheless, precautions need to be taken. Pretty Girl is already signed up for an update to her obedience training, and Old man is so well behaved that I'm not sure what else we can do with him. What does the internet have to say?

eHow has a good list of reasonable preparations: (Although I'm not enthusiastic about the baby-doll solution)

How to Introduce a Dog to a Newborn

I also like Pregnancy.org's advice on bringing the baby home:

The First Day Home - Baby and Dog

We'll see how it goes.

It's official...

I promise I won't be one of those insufferable dads always shoving pictures of the kid in your face, saying, isn't that adorable, but here's our little seedlet:

Run Silent, Run Deep...

We have been keeping news of the seedlet (henceforth to be known as hot dog, or milkshake) mostly secret. I say mostly because secrecy here at Casa Clarity is more like the reference desk at the library. Want to know what's going on around here? Just ask, no security clearance necessary. At least nine additional people have been informed, outside of medical professionals. Understandably, four of them are family members. Wifey needs someone to talk to about it besides me.

The bigger issue is we've been working at this for a year. During that time, we've had 3 or 4 miscarriages. One of them was my fault. I handed her aspirin for a headache. We didn't know she was pregnant at the time, and I had no idea what it would do. We found out the next day.

So, this is why we've tried to keep a lid on telling everyone. We have our first ultrasound in a week. I hope to have good news.

Is It Safe?

Eating dinner at my wife's favorite vegetarian restaurant tonight and after she orders her tofu, she turns and asks, "Is that okay for the baby?"

I may be clueless, but I have technology on my side. Quicker than the kitchen can turn out her grilled tofu cooked in orange ginger sauce served over brown rice, with steamed chard, arame, and homemade pickled cabbage, I successfully search and answer her question; yes, you can eat that.

In the middle of our meal, she orders a hibiscus tea. Again, out comes the phone. Yes honey, you can have that. I quickly determine that what we need is more information. I can't, won't, be the kind of father/husband that pre-screens every morsel and drop that goes into her stomach.

After dinner we stop at the local book emporium and purchase the pregnancy bible, What To Expect When You're Expecting. By the time the Broncos finish slouching their way through tonight's preseason game, we both have read the section on food. We are now armed with knowledge.

And waddya know, there's a website too:

What To Expect When You're Expecting

Is there an app for that?

Bye Bye Bacon...

Last night my wife told me she can't eat processed meats while she's pregnant. No hot dogs, roast beef, pastrami, salami, and worst of all, no bacon. I was a little sad for her. A second later, I was little sad for me because that means I get fewer bacon opportunities. A few seconds later, I was a little sad for progress. If you are over the age of say, 30, you can imagine what your mother might have been ingesting while you were in the womb. Most of us turned out okay anyway.

I'm all for being careful about diet and whatnot but some folks go too far. For example, this list just gets silly:

You Should Avoid Drinking Tap Water if Possible - People afraid of tap water really annoy me. These are the same folks who made Dan Brown a rich man.

You Should Avoid Stress - Okay, I'll just sit here in my sensory deprivation comfort bubble for nine months.

You Should Avoid Herpes - Always good advice, but W.T.F.

What are you gonna do?

Toxoplasmosis fun facts...

We have pets. Two dogs and a cat. Besides wondering if I need to get a second job to afford adding another mouth to feed into the mix, I am concerned about the health and welfare of the baby.

For today, let's talk about the cat, more specifically, let's talk about cat feces. I've heard it supposed to be bad for pregnant mothers. Go figure. I didn't know any of the why's and wherefores. Here's what I've learned from the internet:

It is caused by a parasite bug called Toxoplasma gondii.

Toxoplasma gondii is also found in garden soil.

According to the CDC, 22.5% of Americans are infected with this little bugger. In France, 88%.

Symptoms of toxoplasmosis are generally flu-like. Although, some recent studies have tied toxoplasma to schizophrenia.

Gripped by panic and fear yet? Relax. The bottom line is this; don't eat raw or rare meats, wash fruits and vegetables thoroughly, wear gloves while gardening and wash your hands thoroughly afterward, clean the cat's litter everyday and wash your hands thoroughly afterward. Common sense stuff.

I was surprised to find out about the gardening thing, but mostly my concerns are soothed because when it comes to the cat, I do all cleaning up anyway. And now we have scientific confirmation that cat ladies really are crazy and the French are indeed dirty.

The Situation..

Here's how I found myself deciding to write this blog:

I am a forty-ish married fella who fancies himself a writer. Four days ago my wife told me she is pregnant. We had been "trying" for a year. I dislike that word immensely. You're either doing what needs to be done, or you are not. And we did it. It just took a year for it to take. I have avoided anything to do with babies my entire adult life, so it didn't take long for me to realize that my learning curve is going to be steep. Hence my daily dive into what the internet has to say about childbirth and fatherhood.

Today we started talking about names. It might be too early, but I already have a favorite.

Here are two interesting baby name sites that are giving me ideas:

Baby Names

Parents Connect

And this site has a great timeline feature that helps me wrap my head around what's going on inside my wife's lady parts:

BabyCenter

Why the world needs another blog about fatherhood...

It doesn't. Let's start by acknowledging that right off. A quick search will tell you that there are any number of people telling their parenting story. We are a self indulgent lot, we bloggers. While I might dip my toe, or an entire appendage if appropriate, in those waters from time to time, the intent here is to talk about things on the internet about parenting that I find useful, not so useful, entertaining, and otherwise pleasantly distracting.

And here are two daddy blogs I've already parked in my newsfeed:

Daddy Types - I like this guy's style.

Rebel Dad - Because I want to be a successful stay-at-home dad. I might learn something here.

And away we go...